I’d like a word with you about those websites with talking advertisements. Especially the ones that come on after 30 seconds or so, just when you’re getting into what you’re trying to read. First, they scare the hell out of me and I can’t close the website window fast enough. Then I’m annoyed because what I was reading is gone. I’m not clicking your link, not buying your product, and probably won’t even re-load the page because now I’m just pissed off, so your client and all their other advertisers have lost my eyeballs.
That also goes for websites that automatically start off playing music. Any kind of music. I’m already listening to music of my own. I don’t want to hear your music. I will buy whatever it is I was looking for from a quiet website.
Ok, I’ll tell you what… if you want to take your shiny Porsche (and by the way, that’s “Porsh,” not “Por-sha,” not “Portch“) out into Bumble-fuck Nowhere, 3 hours away from Next to Nothing, I suggest you at least bring your Chilton’s along with you and learn how to use a wrench.
‘Cause no, you don’t qualify for the helicopter air-lift rescue squad.
And bring something to eat, too, or you might just have to eat your poodle-dogs.
No one is really in charge of anything. The Blob has no head.
Recently I started participating in the forums for one of the sites I frequent. I knew it wouldn’t be easy (I’ve been spoiled by the civility of the Grey School forums). And almost immediately, I was the target of an internet bully — I posted a funny photo I’d found, and someone took it upon themselves to find and point out several things I’d done wrong (mind, my post consisted of a five-word title and a link to a photograph).
Whatever — losers abound. What I found interesting was that my initial gut reaction was the same as when I encounter the Freeway AssHat. You know them: the “I’m going to tailgate you and then jump out and pass you and then cut you off and then get off at the next exit pay attention to me pay attention to me I paid a lot of money for this phallic extension of a car and you’re going to acknowledge me me me.”
Yeah, you know that guy*. We encounter them, and we want to show them. They inspire us to drive like a total maniac just to pass them back. We know we should just ignore them, that any sort of retribution, however well-deserved, is just going to make the situation worse, but dammit, they can’t get away with that, can they?
‘Net traffic is very similar to road traffic. Mostly, everyone is just trying to do their errands and get by in one piece, but there’s always that guy who has inferiority issues and didn’t get enough attention from mom. Anonymity, whether provided by a metal shell or a keyboard, provides a fake sense of power. You can “show” one guy, but the road never ends — there’s always another one behind you, and another one ahead of you. For every smart-ass comeback on the forums, there’s a thousand more threads and a thousand more trolls.
Eventually we all have to pull over, turn it off and live with ourselves.
*”Guy” being an androgynous term in this case, as there are just as many ladies driving around with penis extensions and attitudes to match.
So I’ve been spending so much time trying to drum up freelance business, work on my clients’ projects, get my Second Life world and store up, working on Grey School classes, cheering on the Twangshifers… my own daily work has had to take a back seat.
It’s not that I don’t have anything to say — I just keep forgetting to say it. And, my, but this blog needs rennovating.
Currently listening to: Shoutcast Stream http://74.63.47.82:8302/
Recent work:
As far as daily life goes, I keep thinking of clever little quips that should go in here, and promptly forgetting them.
What?
No, dear blog, I have not forsaken you. I have just been so busy trying to get resume and wiki to behave themselves, that I have neglected you. But I have seen how patient you have been, and I want you to know that I really appreciate it. Notebook says hello. Maybe tomorrow we can all go and have coffee together.
Because I overslept, and that’s how much time I have left to fiddle around on the computer before I have to leave for work.
I had a dream that I was learning how to code the Wikimedia infobox templates. The dream gave me a couple of good ideas to try.
*sigh*
Kids, be warned! it’s a trap! If you don’t take off on your own path from the very beginning — and succeed — you get sucked into the “rat race.” Or become a bum. But the dirty trick is that you don’t realize this until it’s…too…late.
One of you rich bastards give me a grant. Time is money, and money is time. Come on, underwrite me, for gods’ sake! No one’s answering. I suppose I’d better go make my lunch and get ready to go spend 9 hours supporting someone else’s dream.
My definition:
When the class you’ve always had overshadows your desperation to hang on to something that was never yours to keep.
Usually I obsess over learning one thing, all the while planning all the marvelous things I’ll do as soon as I’ve become an expert at the first thing.
Well, that doesn’t work. It never has. I get bored and frustrated before achieving that elusive expertise. I can’t wait to move on to the next thing. So I leave a trail of beginnings behind me, like breadcrumbs leading back to the places I intend to revisit, while obsession with new containers keeps me from ever getting around to the content.
I’m trying something new. For the last time, I hope. Not just a shiny new box, but a whole system of packing.
This week, I’ve installed: a Wiki. A blog. A social networking program. A forum. A content management system. A course management system. I’ve been looking forward to all of these since moving to a webhost that can handle them. (Hint: Yahoo! Doesn’t!)
And I’m learning them ALL AT ONCE.
I’m adding content BEFORE I finish, or start, customizing the themes. I know enough to adjust php codes, but not enough to write my own. It’s totally overwhelming, but it’s better than beginning again, and again, and again, and again.
At the end of my life, I’d like to have more to show for it than just a series of beginnings!
Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!
*Edit: Isn’t that nice of them, to get me started like this?*
